And She's "Dying on..." The Stairway....To Heaven

Don't let this innocent beginning fool you, folks. This is SERIOUS business here, the Stoltzekleiven. The climb that separates men from boys, dogs from cats, burly wenches from gym-rats....Old Norwegian men from middle-aged American women.

I've been wanting to get out here and do this ever since I got here, but just haven't coordinated the time, bus stop, weather, etc. Finally, a gorgeous balmy day (35F. I think...the song "We're havin' a Heat Wave!" comes to mind) and time on my hands (museums closed, bureaucratic hours at the Nygaardskole...), so why not just do the Stoltzekleiven and then go over the top and hike over to Eidsvaag today...sounds great. And besides, I NEED the exercise if I am to prepare myself for a week at the farm in Poland. I think I should take off a couple kilos at first so I can still fit into my clothes for the trip back home :-)

So, I take off my scarf, and start the trudge. I've been here before, so I know what I'm in for, and welcome the hike. I think I'm doing pretty well, and then this older man (65+?), and I say that in a very literal way, for all my friends who are older...THAN ME....anyway, he allows me to continue to go ahead for a bit, and we strike up a small conversation...."Jeg kan ikke snakke mye norsk....beklagger....jeg snakker engelsk..."...with the usual guilt...like why the hell am I here if I can't learn the language by now? But as with all Norwegians, he is perfectly happy to speak English, and even more overjoyed that I made the EFFORT to speak Norwegian. We make some small talk about Las Vegas, and gambling (of which I know actually very little), and he tells me how Norwegians cannot gamble at some places with certain credit cards, blah blah blah, and he is quite nice, but I can tell, because I, too, get obsessed with how long it takes me to perform stupid feats of physical strength, that he is on a mission. Right about here, in front of these particular steps, he tally-ho's with, "Ok! I think I shall try running now!"

And off he goes. Leaving me to feel like the pathetic wanna-be that I am at that given moment. What IS in the water here?????

Here are some more steps...that he is apparently continuing to run up, SANS ice-grippers, mind you. Yes, that is ICE under that snow....

Oh, hooray....A stretcher!!!! Where is the rescue helicopter? After watching several YouTube movies about this fun, popular, exhilarating hike, I now know that this is the 1/2 way point. Luckily for me, while doing this, I was completely unaware of this fact, just like a child being lured ahead by a parent waving a candy bar calling out that "It's just up around the next corner!" My husband is probably laughing at the sweet revenge I am exacting upon myself on his behalf. How many times have I said those words to him on the death marches I've taken him on? Wiggling my toes as additional counting devices at least warms them up a little.....Nice.

The end is near, the end is near!

I just know it!!! I can feel it...in my legs! in my toes! in my heart! in my (cough, cough, spit, cough) lungs!!! Don't all good hills end with a flight of stairs?

Well, yes, in fact they do. In the distance, one can see some hills above Bergen, and closer in, the beautiful snow-clad trees and if you look really closely, you can see little pieces of my pride laying there on the trail, after I have peeked at my watch to see that I have taken approximately 25 minutes to go up. GRANTED, the conditions were less than optimal AND I stopped to take photos, AND I gabbed with the old Viking, AND.....(searching for more excuses....searching, searching....file not found).

In the end, I bring myself back to the whole point of it all: to breathe in this refreshing moist air, to take in this eye candy, to again commune with my favorite part of this country (its nature), and to check in with my feelings about possibly moving here. One thing is for sure to change: this need to hurry, this need to be the best, this need to maximize every experience I have (whatever those feelings are, wrapped all into one general "thing"). Every once in awhile, I am confronted with a part of myself that I can only surmise is my "culture", that dwells within. There are times I would like to believe that I am NOT a product of my cultural upbringing, that I'm more intelligent than that, that I function at a "higher level" than what has been fed to me over the years masquerading as education and a "way of life". But in the end, when confronted with the reality here that I AM different in the way I think, the way I dress, the way I speak, in these obvious ways, that's when I want to run to the hills, because it is there that I just feel like a human being. A living being that the trees (and dogs I meet along the way), the birds, the trails, the rocks, and streams just experience as another two-legged, creature.....flailing away, huffing and puffing along......for no apparent reason other than to get to some "place", be it a physical or mental one.

Of course, it was all worth it, not because it needed to be, but.....well, there you have it. It never needs to be "worth it", does it? Another Americanism that may just have to be winnowed.

For a more exciting view of someone who does this same hike in apprx. 10 minutes, here is a link. It is only a 6 minute video. Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/_hUQ5W8hIl8

If the link doesn't work, just search for Stoltzekleiven in YouTube and find the one that is just this guy doing it....in just under 10 minutes...it's fun.